Journal

Third day in a row waking at 4:30. Not anxious — just the light comes early, and the room becomes different. I noticed the first half-hour of the day is now the quietest inside. Before the phone comes on.

Call with mom. Started fine, then she said about my brother — that he doesn’t call. I noticed I started defending him again, though I had promised myself not to step in. I’ve been carrying it all week.

A day without dark thoughts. Just worked, walked along the embankment at lunch. I noticed that when I expect nothing particular from a day — it usually turns out better.